The Art Of First Dating
No matter whether you’ve just come out of a relationship or you’re tired of one night stands going on that first date can often be quite a tricky prospect no matter how much experience we have. These days there are a million and one ways to find new love and from friends setting us up at dinner parties to dating sites pairing us with the ‘perfect partner’ often finding someone to date is a lot easier than the actual event.
Personally, I love a first date as it gives me an opportunity to meet someone new and someone that, hopefully, wants to find out a little bit more about me. There’s nothing better than chatting about ourselves but there aren’t that many scenarios where we get the chance to do so. I find the key to a successful first date is to be as relaxed as possible so choosing a venue that isn’t too stuffy or formal is ideal for me.
But, thankfully, we’re all different and even though I may prefer a walk in a park or coffee by a lake someone else might think the prospect of going to the cinema a much more enticing proposition. And therein lies your first clue as to whether you’re going to get on with your blind, or otherwise, date: finding somewhere that you’d both like to meet. Be as honest as you can be without being too much of a stickler as to the choice of venue. After all, flexibility and compromise are often the keystones to a long and happy relationship.
Below are a few more notable moments that occur during a first date and if you’re about to embark and you’re looking for success then read on because you never know, this could help you to woo the man or woman of your dreams.
Obviously, very important as decisions about who we are can be, rightly or wrongly, made in the twinkling of an eye. So, make sure you’re honest with yourself and don’t present an impression that you may struggle to live up to in the future. Smart casual is an awful expression but it fits the bill here. Make sure you smell good, have clean clothes and you’re not trying too hard and fingers-crossed you’ll give off a great first impression.
Choosing the right venue
As mentioned, this is often your first chance to see what your first date is interested in. Choosing a venue that is going to help you both relax will no doubt enhance your date and the time of day will also count too. If you are quite an assertive person then make the first move and suggest a venue, better yet suggest a few venues and let your partner decide. Often it’s easier to communicate via email or text however, remember, these methods can be quite ambiguous so keep your messages simple, brief and upbeat.
What to talk about
So, you’ve found a venue that you both agree on and you’re smelling and looking sweet, now all you have to do is find out more about each other! This is not an interview so you don’t have to compile a dossier of notes about yourself however, listing a few positives the night before isn’t an altogether bad idea. We can often get stuck for things to say in stressful situations so finding common ground is what we tend to search for. Try to relax and tell yourself that you’re a good person and you’re interested in finding out more about your partner. Listen, relax and enjoy the experience.
Easy to say but difficult to do. One of the main character traits that most people cite in potential partners is confidence and if you’re happy, relaxed and looking good then you’re most likely be coming across as someone that your first date would like to spend more time with. Top tips: If you’re going to a new venue then check it out on your own first, try to avoid caffeine, pungent foods and strong alcoholic drinks and, lastly, buy something that makes you feel special: jewellery, perfume or sexy underwear usually does the trick.
Leave them wanting more
So you’ve met in a relaxing venue, you’ve exuded confidence and you’ve found that you’re both interested in Beethoven now all you have to do is arrange to meet again. But wait, it’s not always how you start it’s how you finish and avoiding faux pas such as leaning in for a snog after an hour’s lunch will ensure you get to meet again. Each to their own but I find a peck on the cheek is just about enough to set heart’s aflutter and waiting at least 24hrs before you send your next text or email is just about the right time to seem interested and not desperate.
Biog: Chris can’t wait until her next blind date and is eagerly awaiting the results of her latest online suitor profiles.
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