Connect with us

Lifestyle

But Does Speed Dating Work?

But Does Speed Dating Work?

“Does (you name the technique — Internet dating, speed dating, going to singles events) work?” is always a question that stumps me. “Compared with what?” I ask. Compared with doing nothing, speed dating probably works pretty well. Anything is better than nothing, and what’s the likelihood that doing nothing will “work”? As our cat Peri says, “Not good, Dad. Not good.”

Does speed dating “work” better than Internet dating? Who knows? But what I am sure of is that the more you do to make finding a mate more likely, the more likely it is that you will find the love of your life. I do hear more and more reports of couples who met at speed dating events, just as it is not at all uncommon for new romance clients to tell me that they know one or more couples, now married, who met on the net.

Speed dating puts the all-important “Chemistry,” that illusive “something” most singles look for in a potential partner, stage center. Checking out “chemistry” usually has to wait until the first face-to-face meeting with Internet daters. Not a problem with speed dating: Here’s you chance to check for chemistry with a dozen or more candidates, no time wasted.

Most of us feel that “chemistry” or attraction is an important part of romantic love. But how do you know that the excitement you feel is a healthy attraction? How do you know the feeling is not fear, or a tapping into a not-so-healthy past experience?

Research came out that supports both the “working” of speed dating and Internet dating. Here’s what’s came out about speed dating: Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania worked with Loveawake to collect data on 10,526 anonymous participants of speed dating events.

Robert Kurzban, the research leader, said that most participants made their decisions with three seconds. Since participants have no prior information about the other candidates, they make their decisions based solely on first impressions, that “chemistry” again. Malcolm Gladwell wrote about similar observations, that contrary to what the individuals at speed dating events SAY they want beforehand, they decided whether or not to pursue a relationship based on intuitive, non-verbal information.

What this research is not able to say though is if the initial attraction found at a speed dating event can then translate into a good, solid long-term commitment. The research on Internet dating, however, does seem to indicate that if the participants who met online used the Internet and the telephone to get to know each other before meeting, they were highly likely to want to meet again, and even pursure the relationship for at least months.

Here are some positives I have been hearing: As you could imagine, speed dating would be particularly suited to cities where you would have a big draw of like to like. In other words, filling up an event with enough professional men and women in a certain age range would be possible. Or sports fans or music lovers. Interestingly, the ages specified for the groupings are often three to five years younger for women than men.

While that follows usual dating patterns of men dating younger women, if you are older and female, ouch! The pickings (and events) are slim and far between. Often, too, the events will have a cut off age, like 35 or 40. Older folks — male or female –may be out of luck. Here’s and interesting tidbit: More women tend to sign up for speed dating events, but more men actually show up.

A commonality between speed dating events and Internet dating sites is that people going to speed dating events are there for one purpose only — they are interested in meeting someone who also is available, and they are paying to do so. That alone lends a note of seriousness, and of course, self-screens out anyone who is not.

If chemistry is important to you, then you may want to give speed dating a try. But be aware of your less healthy relationship patterns. And if you are over 40 and female, let me know if you actually find an event that will accept you.

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

3D Rendering Terminology: Guide For Architects to Communicate With CG Artists 3D Rendering Terminology: Guide For Architects to Communicate With CG Artists
Tech7 days ago

3D Rendering Terminology: Guide For Architects to Communicate With CG Artists

When chipping away at a building representation project, a modeler and a 3D delivering worker for hire need to see...

Learn and Become A Professional DevOps Engineer! Learn and Become A Professional DevOps Engineer!
Tech2 weeks ago

Learn and Become A Professional DevOps Engineer!

Have you been having a tough time deciding what you want to do when you grow up? Once your school...

Debunking The Common Myths About Cosmetic Surgery Debunking The Common Myths About Cosmetic Surgery
Health2 weeks ago

Debunking The Common Myths About Cosmetic Surgery

Just a few years back, plastic surgery was thought to be some kind of sorcery or something that existed in...

How to Choose The Right Type Of Flooring For Your New Home How to Choose The Right Type Of Flooring For Your New Home
Home Improvement2 weeks ago

How to Choose The Right Type Of Flooring For Your New Home

Building a house from scratch can be a tedious and stressful process even though you know you are doing something...

3 Ways To Style An Oversized White Shirt This Summer 3 Ways To Style An Oversized White Shirt This Summer
Lifestyle3 weeks ago

3 Ways To Style An Oversized White Shirt This Summer

If there is one staple item you need ready for your summer wardrobe, it’s an oversized white shirt. They are...

5 Tips For Picking The Perfect Wedding Ring 5 Tips For Picking The Perfect Wedding Ring
Lifestyle3 weeks ago

5 Tips For Picking The Perfect Wedding Ring

Your big day is coming up for your wedding day and you set the standards too high with your engagement...

What's That Thing Called? All You Need to Know About Your Car's Lift Struts What's That Thing Called? All You Need to Know About Your Car's Lift Struts
Autos3 weeks ago

What’s That Thing Called? All You Need to Know About Your Car’s Lift Struts

Imagine you’re out for grocery shopping or a weekend outing with family, and you need to load your shopping or...

10 Places to Explore In Ahmedabad Gujarat India 10 Places to Explore In Ahmedabad Gujarat India
Travel3 weeks ago

10 Places to Explore In Ahmedabad Gujarat India

In the state of Gujarat Ahmedabad or Ahmedabad is a significant region and one of the very prominent city areas...

Men’s Top Fashion Trends To Be Following Spring/Summer 2021 Men’s Top Fashion Trends To Be Following Spring/Summer 2021
Lifestyle4 weeks ago

Men’s Top Fashion Trends To Be Following Spring/Summer 2021

With us all being in lockdown on and off for a year, people are starting to get excited for the...

Find Blog Post Ideas Using Google Keyword Planner Find Blog Post Ideas Using Google Keyword Planner
Marketing4 weeks ago

Find Blog Post Ideas Using Google Keyword Planner

Being a successful blogger means that you have to create captivating and original content that will be helpful to your...

Best Vegan Egg Alternatives For Baking Best Vegan Egg Alternatives For Baking
Life Hacks4 weeks ago

Best Vegan Egg Alternatives For Baking

In recent years there has been a dramatic increase in veganism due to its numerous health benefits. People are much...

7 Smart Storage Solutions For A Small Bathroom 7 Smart Storage Solutions For A Small Bathroom
Home Improvement1 month ago

7 Smart Storage Solutions For A Small Bathroom

A small bathroom can be such a nuisance. You never have the space you need and everything seems to be...

What Are The Better Ways Of Building Data Lakes? : The Right Way Is Critical What Are The Better Ways Of Building Data Lakes? : The Right Way Is Critical
Tech1 month ago

What Are The Better Ways Of Building Data Lakes? : The Right Way Is Critical

The pattern is the main period that each enterprise needs to be conscious of if they need to generate greater...

Everything You Need to Think About Before The Road Trip Everything You Need to Think About Before The Road Trip
Autos2 months ago

Everything You Need to Think About Before The Road Trip

Road trips are perhaps the most flexible vacation format: they can be as long or fast, intense or relaxed, planned...

Justice Law In Rural Area: Keep Community Feels Secure Justice Law In Rural Area: Keep Community Feels Secure
Law2 months ago

Justice Law In Rural Area: Keep Community Feels Secure

In order to strive and keep on progressing forward, the judiciary system plays an important role in instituting trust within...

Categories

Archives

Trending